This President's Day weekend we spent an amazing 5 days in Sun Valley, Idaho. It was my first trip there (and to the state of Idaho... potatoes!) that came about when John and I were asked to be speakers at a yearly medical conference. John was very excited about the opportunity to get us, as a family, out for a family ski trip. He is from Chicago and growing up, spent many of his family vacations on the slopes. His fondness for these memories is always very apparent on his face whenever he reflects on them. It's been quite clear to me that his hope would be for these memories to be a part of our family story too.
This Arizona girl, on the other hand, does not ski. Prior to this weekend, I had skied two times total. My first experience was in high school. Going into that trip I remember thinking "I'm super sporty, I'll definitely be fine at skiing". After multiple tumbles down the mountain, frustration and a bruised, swollen torn up left ankle - I decided skiing was NOT for me. John talked me into going on another trip during our fourth year of medical school. I agreed to go because A) I kind of liked him ( we were already engaged at this point ;)) B) a bunch of our friends were going and C) drinking games were promised. I did a little better that time but basically stayed on the bunny hill and sat out when I got frustrated.
Enter our most recent trip. John, super happy excited skier hoping to embed the ski bug... Renee, playing along with the excitement but quietly listing off all the annoying things about it.
"I'm just not a skier."
"I DO NOT have winter clothes, what am I supposed to wear?"
"Ugh, I have to pack so much stuff for me and the kids."
"The kids are going to be cold and miserable."
"Cold weather is the worst."
Yep - that was essentially my inner dialogue for weeks going into this trip. For someone who is a big believer in controlling your mindset, I was pretty much letting my inner bratty ego run wild. I thought I was doing a great job hiding those feelings from John - turns out he knows me pretty well and could read it very clearly. When he finally let on that he knew I wasn't excited about this trip on our first night there while his excited face deflated a bit - I realized how much of a jerk I was being. All he'd wanted was to create great memories for us and the kids - and I was piling on unnecessary negativity.
*I want to pause for a second to say something. If you follow me on social media, you clearly know that I am a huge fitness junkie. Physical fitness is a center piece in my life but just as important to me, is my mental fitness. Over the last several years I've done A LOT of work on figuring my inner self out. Learning why I react to things the way I do, understanding my insecurities, identifying my faults - and actively working to make them better. I'll be sure to elaborate on this more in future posts, as I believe our entire lives are shaped by our mindset.*
Ok, back to the story. In that moment I clearly saw the part I was playing and didn't like it. Right then and there, I changed my attitude. I've done enough work on myself to identify my faults and immediately course correct (which has also taken quite a bit of work). Positivity, something I'm quite good at, was now the name of the game.
Twinning with my girl is super easy to be positive about :)
This was quite easy to do, when I wasn't on skis. The second I stepped those ski boots into the ski, all I could think was "I'm such a bad skier, everyone around here is so much better than me. I'm going to look so stupid." I was able to keep those voices at a lower decibel on the first few runs - but wasn't able to shut them off. The unsteadiness and lack of control that I was feeling along with those little negative voices gave way for annoyance to come flooding in.
John, sensing the mounting frustration, suggested a lesson. At first I balked but eventually agreed to it. With some simple direction in those 2 hours with my awesome instructor Don (who did NOT want to be called Donald, wonder why?) I learned how to get control on the skis. And with that seemingly tiny bit of instruction - it completely changed my sensation on the skis. I could control them. I then turned back into myself, looked straight at my inner ego and said "I can control you too".
Me and Don!
Each run down the mountain got better, I grew more confident with every turn. With each confidence boost, I tried a harder run. On the harder run I'd fall or have times of unsteadiness - but my mindset was unswayed. I got back up, dusted off the snow, popped back on the ski and continued down the mountain. More importantly - I went right back to the chair lift to do it again, determined to do it better.
You may be wondering why I'm writing a blog about this. Doesn't seem like some kind of huge thing. So I'm learning to ski - so what? This experience for me was something I wanted to share to show the power of mindset. Your mindset determines every experience in your life. The way you view what is happening around you is ENTIRELY up to you.
I went into this trip with a pre-determined idea of what it was going to be. If I was really committed to that idea, I could have certainly made the negative experience become our reality. Instead, I called myself out on my own BS and I changed it. And we had one of the happiest, most joyous vacations to date.
(PS. Micah KILLED IT on the mountain. He's totally my hero)
As I've gotten better at controlling my mindset I've continued to learn how much of an impact it makes. On the slopes I learned how different my experience on skis could be when I felt in control. The corollary between the two was not lost on me. At the end of the day, we create the world around us. We are in control of how we show up. We have control over who we are in this very moment. Choose wisely - the experiences in your life depend on it.