Deciding to write this post about my early days has spawned from interactions I've had with kids in my clinical practice who live and attend school in pressure filled high stress areas. The Bay Area is a place I absolutely love, but it's also a place where kids feel so much pressure. In my humble opinion..... too much pressure.
I was pretty young, an 8 year old to be exact, when I made the proclamation that I wanted to be a doctor. Obviously it took many more encounters and exposures to solidify that decision. But they did just that and I found myself committed to the long arduous path of physician hood.
Going in, I had a vague sense of how long this path would be. I didn't have anyone close in my life who was a physician, so I was kind of winging it. I understood I would be sacrificing time and money, again in a vague way. There was just something deep down inside of me that always knew this was my calling. I'd learned from an early age (from my hardworking parents) that nothing in life that is worth it comes easy - and I knew this path wouldn't be easy.
I'm from a small town in the very southeast corner of Arizona named Sierra Vista. I did not attend a fancy private school or a high power public school in an affluent area - I went to our local high school that (at the time) made national news for having some of the highest rates of teen pregnancy. I took honors courses that I did well in and maybe an AP class here and there at the local community college. I was in student council, participated in some high school sports, played the clarinet in the band and hung out with my friends.
From there I went to a local state school (Arizona State baby! Go devils!) because my tuition was free as a resident who finished in the top 10% of their graduating high school class. College was fun, sometimes too much fun.... Very different from most premeds - I actually opted out of the Honors program. I majored in Biochemistry (a decision I regret now, so wish I would have picked a more interesting major), joined a couple premed groups, volunteered as a "baby hugger" at the local children's hospital. Some typical premed things.
My husband and I often laugh at my "list" of medical schools I applied to. As embarrassing as it is to admit, many of the schools I ended up applying to around the country I did so because I'd heard of their college basketball teams (what?!?!) ::side note - I LOVE COLLEGE BASKETBALL::. I ended up putting my application into the Pritzker School of Medicine at the University of Chicago because the picture of Lake Michigan by the school's table at the premed fair looked pretty. Did not have a clue how competitive of a program it was. It actually mortifies me to type this, but it just goes to show you that I was not the "have it all together" premed student. Somehow, the admissions committee saw something in me and I got accepted.
My cheesy "I got into medical school" selfie from Fall 2005
It wasn't until medical school that I fully realized how "unpolished" my path to medical school was. I had more than a few "record screech" moments when someone found out the undergraduate program I attended. There was more than one occasion when the "I didn't know people from Arizona State actually got into medical school" comment popped up. Where some may have gotten defensive - I took it as a battle cry to show people exactly what this "state school" girl could do.
I stood up to each challenge (and there were many) in the best way that I could. I didn't graduate medical school at the top of my class, I didn't have the highest grades on my tests or get "Honors" on every rotation (damn you neurology... brains are useless ;)). But I finished with pride, matched into my number 1 choice program and am currently practicing medicine that I am incredibly passionate about.
Match Day 2010 - Heading to Palo Alto!!
At the end of the day, if you want something bad enough and put in enough grit, you can get exactly what you want. I truly believe that. Will someone who is smarter than you, more well off than you, more privileged than you get there faster? Maybe. But if you can take the early trials and speed bumps as tests of your resilience, I 100% guarantee you will be better for it. You will eventually get to the same place the other guy does, but your trials will help you weather the future storms better than those who's paths were smooth and easy.
You don't need to have it all together, you just gotta believe in yourself. Take it from someone who knows, who lived it and is now living the life she dreamed about in that small town Sierra Vista bedroom all those years ago.